freedom

I haven't been on this space for a terribly long time!
So much has changed since I got back from summer. Good things, bad things.
In other news, have been super duper busy with work.

Today was a really long and fulfilling day at work. I've never felt more convicted to work for something in my life, and I guess that is a good thing. Even though I don't think what I enjoy doing is regarded as very conventionally "rewarding", it makes me happy and that's what really matters. For now.

My mind tends to drift when I shower (doesn't everyone do that too) so I was thinking about the tattoo thing Louise mentioned to me about. If I ever feel compelled to get a tattoo, I suppose I will get one along the lines of freedom. Right now, I don't feel oppressed at all so nope, no tattoo in the foreseeable future.

Anyway, freedom has been a thought that's constantly on my mind. Growing up, freedom has never really been something familiar to me. In fact, my concept of freedom is ever changing, and I'm only just beginning to understand. I have a feeling that this time, I'm finally right about it.

Freedom to me used to be staying out late, going out with friends all night. It still means that to me, partly. My parents are really strict with me and I'm okay with that- it keeps me in check. Also in retrospect, it saved me a lot of unnecessary spending. Money that should probably be put to better use. Then again, I used to spend loads on my Jay Chou discs..

Now being free means something else to me. I guess being free to most people means having a lot of time on your hands. Time to travel, time to meet up with friends, time to pursue hobbies. But what I think matters more is having the freedom to choose.

I read somewhere in a book that we are the only barriers to our happiness. More often than not, people are under the illusion that they are shackled by the burdens of daily life. They feel that they have to go to work, they have an obligation to make tons of money, they have a need to always please their boss. To some extent, they are shackled. Not by their "commitments", but rather their mindset.

So this book that I was reading says, you have the freedom to choose. Unhappy with your job? Leave it. Don't feel like going to work? Don't. Now, if someone adopted this attitude it will just make them seem like a lousy worker (then-worker, if they really left) with a major attitude problem. But on the flipside, the other lesson we can potentially learn from this is incredibly valuable.

Freedom just goes beyond physical freedom. True freedom to me is mental freedom. I may be working all day and through the night. But as long as I choose this lifestyle, I'm free. As long as I enjoy what I'm doing, I see the purpose in what I'm doing, no matter the hours, I'm free. In future, I will want to advance myself further in my career, and I know its going to be a long and tough road. But as long as I know everyday deep down inside, that this path is the one I've chosen, I am freer than ever.

And I'm glad I've chosen this path so far. I've realised so many things about life, and I feel like I've matured so much- has really been the most fulfilling, possibly the best summer ever.