Today we were assigned a very interesting guide. His name I can't really remember, but he looked really young, handsome and teen-ish (think purple Superdry shirt and grey hoodie plus boat shoes) and hence was impressionable because usually we get an older, rugged forest-man as a guide. So anyway, there were many things about him that seemed different apart from his appearance, most obviously his accent which sounded more English than Swedish. Over dinner, it turns out that he's Asian-English (explains the black hair and British accent), brought up in England and now in Sweden.
I find people like this fascinating. "People like this" meaning those who have travelled a lot/ and have got the chance to live in different environments through their whole life. But what really inspired this post was something I read and shared on thought catalogue, which had something to do with people returning home from their overseas education and realizing that all people remember is an impression of their former self and others don't realize how much the "returners" have changed.
I wonder how many people/ true friends these people have and how they maintain such long distance relationships with each other. Nowadays with technology, it's definitely easier to maintain contact with those that matter, but is the time and the effort invested to do so worth it? Judging from my short one year of experience, I return home quite frequently, but every few months that I return I realize I "lose" some of these friends. People who have gotten really involved in school stuff and are too busy to chat, those that have gotten attached and moved on with life, those that are predominantly bored but you have nothing much to talk about to. The list goes on and on. Now, I'm probably left with three or four friends that I chat with on a weekly basis. Not counting my Southampton friends, two out of the four of them reside and study in the UK too. Which leaves another two who are from Singapore, which admittedly I'm not as close to. But it feels different really, seeing friends in person and chatting with them online. How difficult it must be for a person who hasn't come home for many years.
I admit that sometimes overseas I feel lonely. Recently with my family coming to travel with me and my inability to study in a group, I've missed out a lot on opportunities to forge friendships in the post-easter term. Sometimes, I feel the world has moved on without me and I'm still stuck in a little bubble of my own, trying to fit in everywhere but not really comfortably anywhere. On quiet nights, I tend to think about how differently things would have turned out if I had gone to FASS. For one, I would have tons of new friends, because its easier to get closer to Singaporeans. Probably I'd be struggling to get decent grades, because of the bell curve. Under tremendous stress, bad complexion. Perhaps single. Then again on the other side of the coin, much more sociable, much more active in CCA, feeling much more "accomplished" in general.
Still, given a chance to choose again, I would choose the overseas experience. Traveling, mixing with an older age group of people in general has made me much more mature than I was before I came here. Even though my parents or my friends may not realize it, I definitely feel a change in my thinking, together with being more street-wise, and more adventurous. Being in Singapore, knowing my character then, I would probably be super heavily involved in CCA and have devoted my summer to RAG and internships. It's not entirely bad, but weighing my options now, I would rather spend a little more time in solitude and see for myself the other side of the world.
I've learnt a lot from this trip to Sweden, Kiruna. It's mind opening, to realize that there are still people in this world- a lot of them actually- who still hunt for their family, take months off to fish salmon and suture their own wounds when they get hurt in the wild. These aren't stuff from movies. They are real and happening, and I think it is amazing. Amazing in a wonderful sense. I learnt the most from chatting with the guides over the compulsory snack breaks that we get throughout our day activities. Sometimes, I prefer to listen to the conversations my family holds with the guide and observe instead of joining in the conversation. In fact, I feel that the more you observe, the more you learn because your mind isn't giving the opinion, but rather receiving them so you can piece together all the conversations and make interesting deductions yourself. Quite fun, actually. But, I digress.
Basically what I observed was the difference in culture between those who work with nature and those in the cities. Nature people tend to be more receptive to opinions, agreeing with you before offering their points of views. If they don't agree, they say "maybe" instead of insisting and defending their own opinion against yours. It's not that they don't have their own opinion, but it's a more laid back "discussion" style of conversation rather than debating over issues. Besides, every opinion has its merits, and they recognise that. It helps you see beyond your horizons, too. Also, they don't really bother much about politics, money. They know about everything that is happening around them, they are not detached. They just don't really feel inclined to discuss them, mostly saying "I don't know" in a nonchalant kind of way, which shows they know what you're talking about, but just don't really want to talk about it. One guide that we spoke to told us about salmon fishing season, where he would just take leave a few days before, urgent notice. How he charters a helicopter over to Norway every year to get to the sweetest fishing spot. The way he says it, I felt that he didn't really care about the logistical aspects, the price of renting the helicopter and safety and so on. Even though I guess he doesn't earn loads as a guide (just rental costs 3000 SEK for a one way trip, not including baggage costs), it's inspiring to see that burning uninhibited passion for hunting that he pursues so religiously. "Yolo", he says, something about money being only transient and he doesn't need so much to save up for himself, as long as he lives every day just being happy with what he's doing. That, I think, is important and this new meaning of "yolo" really stuck with me unlike those others (getting drunk and peeing off roofs kind of yolo) which leave a bad aftertaste.
Soon, I'll be arriving back in Stockholm and then Southampton and finally, Singapore. I feel reluctant to go back, to meet with people and be surrounded by swarms of people and the concrete jungle, but I have to. Deep down inside, I probably am just a city girl. But still how I wish more people could come to Kiruna and see how beautiful this place is, talk to the guides and learn something. For once, sit on a huge log surrounded by ant mounds, horse poop and weird insects to have a picnic without complaining about the heat and flying bugs. Just admiring the nature for what it really is, a far cry from the rosy glossed-over ideas projected to us by Animal Planet and National Geographic, but even more beautiful with its flaws. I don't think I'll have many chances in the future to explore mountains on horseback and drive my own four-wheel drive. Picnic in the wilderness and making coffee over the fire in cozy wooden cabins. Eating bread with dirty hands stuck with horse hair on horse sweat, preparing food with utensils that minutes ago, had been on the grass. It is an eye opening experience. Grass isn't nice green carpet grass often seen in the zoo, but rather, long prickly wild grass filled with bugs which animals pee and poop on anytime. Animals aren't tame and over-accommodating like those in the petting zoo or at home, they are creatures that have to be treated with respect for them to reciprocate. Amongst the many other things I have learnt and can't wait to share with my friends in detail, if they ask me about it.
And I don't know how I've digressed from the mix blood guide to adapting overseas to admiring nature's beauty, but ah. This is definitely the best family holiday I've ever been on, for as long as I can remember. :)
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